crazy bastard i m more fucked up than you
***
got this old black trench coat i wear now that the weather s turnin colder goddamn fuckin romantic in me wants to say it s the razor s edge of autumn that makes me insane but i think i m just fucked up again
wear my black coat and old combat boots one sole is cracked and it flaps sometimes when i walk i can feel the dead blades of grass poke through the hole through my thin sock to the bottom of my foot fuck it anyway
***
even the punks uptown won t go near me poor freshly shorn newly manic panicked fucks sad nouveau punks even i m too much
got a light brother yeah lost my smokes too bugger off
***
i eat sugar from paper containers i pick up in diners and hip java shacks gotta do something to sweeten up gotta try and stop this fuck up
***
shaved my head it freaks people out poor bastards don t know if i m a boy or a gurl i look sick and fucked and just not fuckin right a gurl s not suppozed to look like me but i wonder if i haven t just reached the pinnacle the apex the acme incorporated tip top of my beauty
***
downtown in the fashionable warehouse district you d think i was invisible those rich fucks oh some curl their merlot dabbed lips but most just turn away from me i m too fuckin unpleasant
***
my lips are crusty with cheap sugar and blood
***
fuckit
***
stand on the corner with a dead bird in my hand a swallow i m holding by its limp thin neck dunno why i got it dunno why i kilt it i m just fucked the fuck up
***
dance in the dark with a sick jig step like a dead man walking
***
birds on my belt heavy and still warm
***
pink packs a sugar where i been
***
don t know where it s gonna end when i might straighten up and fly right probably not b fore the snow flies
don t bear with me crazy fuck
copyright 1996 by jewel (Julieann M. Brown-Micko)
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