alright, which one of you deities
is in charge of firearms? i'd like
to make my devotion to the patron
saint of guns. i'd like to pour out
a libation to the gods of violence.
hear my pistol-prayer: let me be
your instrument. anoint me as a
holy hermaphrodite with a phallus
of blue steel. consecrate me in the
temple of force as a vestal virgin.
i've heard the call, i've had visions.
show me your blessing in the form
of a handgun. a nice big one: not a
snub-nosed girlie gun or a saturday
night special. give me a whopper:
a .44 magnum or a colt .45. my own
little peacemaker endowed with
the heavy weight of penile power.
before i embark on my mission
of chaos and fury, let me make it
clear: it's not murder i have in mind,
just humiliation. so the next time
some prick in a macho "all terrain"
vehicle refuses to make way for an
ambulance i can shoot his tires out.
so the next time some asshole on
the street mutters "ugly bitch" as
i pass i can shove the barrel up his
nose and spit, "not as ugly as your
brains sprayed all over this wall."
maybe some pistol-whipping if i'm
really pissed. don't you think it's
time someone else got to play with
the phallus? isn't it time a wiry girl
like me got to tote a gun and make
some clueless dicks pee their pants
for a change? hear me, angels of the
blunderbuss, spirits of the sidearm:
i've heard the call, i've had visions.
copyright 4 Decemeber 1997 by jewel (Julieann M. Brown-Micko)
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