flaming jewels

fan dance

When the spirit moves me, I do the fan dance.

And now, with the green fuse lit...driving the shoots forth...and with care-full thoughts...I will do the fan dance...

Two: one red, one white. For the contradictions that cradle me...for blood and purity...for sin and virtue...for crimson and ivory...

In the folds of each fan...razor blades...they DAZZLE me...mesmerized, hypnotized, I must dance the fan dance....

Just before dawn, at the false light time. Naked. As the day/night I was un/born...

One in each hand...unfurled...lovely...they flutter...they glint...fragile paper and tempered steel...

Lightly, I step.

And as the rosy light touches the horizon...I lift the fans...I dance....to the music my soul makes...

Hai! Hai! Hai!

Fans whirl and whisk over my skin...scars catch the dawn's early light to shine pink and pearl...new scars now, faint lines...beading slowly with blood, then rapidly filling in the line, now spilling down my skin...

fandango.

auto-da-fe

swan song.

Hai!

one for the butcher...

snick!

one for the baker...

snick!

and the can-dle-stick maaaaaa-ker!

snick!

and don't forget the little boy who lives down the lane...

snick! snick!

for those I saved...

snick!

and those I failed...

snick!

for the moments that my heart quailed...

snick!

My flesh willingly gives way before the blades...muscles wield and succumb to the shifting fans...I suffer...I succeed...in the gentle light of the dawn...as the sun leaves rosy kisses on my body...and the fans brush my skin...

I hate

snick!

myself

I love

snick!

myself...

Hai! Hai! Hai!

opposites contract

snick! snick! snick!

And, just as the morning sun clears the horizon...just before it is full day...I fall into the ground... I pull the blanket of dirt over me... the fans cover over my face...

I will rest peacefully in my grave cave...

having done the fan dance.

hai, hai, hai....

(driving forth, as close to flying as I can get...)

jewel@gleeful.com
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