flaming jewels

the drowning pool

would you believe me if i told you about the drowning pool?

i was reading _alice's adventures in wonderland_ and listening to billie holiday and feeling so bad. so bad. i had a cup of blood beside me. (so bad).

(alice and billie: the songs of innocence and experience)

would you belive me if i told you i was absently sucking my own blood as i stared at an illustration of the pool of tears? (the drowning pool)

i had carved [someone's] name in my arm with an exacto knife.

i absently sucked at his name, my flesh.

would you believe me if i told you i felt pain so bad, so strong, in my body and in my mind that it was like a separate thing sitting next to me, with its arm around me all friendly-like?

(would you believe me if i told you about the drowning pool?)

would you believe me if i told you i was innocent? i am innocent. [someone] took [something] away from me with i was small (and defenseless) and so i have kept all the rest. of my innocence.

i am pure. corruption rolls off of me like water off a duck's back.

i will be a child forever.
i will be a wingless angel forever.

(sing, angel of harlem)

it's why i like children's rhymes.
it's why i always read children's books.

(do you know of the drowning pool?)

would you believe me if i told you i had a dragon's heart? the switch was made when i was still a child so my soul is still the tender soul of a gurl (stuck, maybe, at the age of five or six), but my heart is a dragon-man's? (ageless, depthless, STRONG)

would you believe me if i told you i was obssessed with the drowning pool?

(o! imagine a pool of your own tears)

i dream of billie's voice.
i am a wounded child.

i suck at my arm.
i sip from the cup.
i stare at the picture of the pool (of tears).
i read alice's adventures in wonderland as i listen to the angel of harlem sing my pure soul to shreds.

ah, the drowning pool.

jewel@gleeful.com
a seraph production