guidelines for submissions:

i strongly recommend that you purchase a sample copy before submitting. not because i'm trying to make money--quite frankly, i lose cash with every issue i print--but to give you an idea of what the imps are about and allow you to judge if your work would be a good fit. many are the conventional, mainstream poets, writers and artists who would be shocked, shocked (to borrow a dry exclamation from claude raines) to have their creations appear in the ghastly pages of the imps. it's not called "an obscenely ridiculous litzine" for nothin'. do yourself a favor--take a peek before you mail me your goods. it would be my distinct pleasure to send you a copy. and it's only two bucks! i have your best interests at heart. once you've taken a gander, you might count yourself lucky to have narrowly escaped the confines of my hellish inkwell.

ask about upcoming themes and deadlines. each issue focuses on a particular topic (i.e., HELL, BiTCH, ViCE, etc.). your verse may contain the moon, the stars, and several whirling galaxies, but if it doesn't fit with the upcoming theme, it gets shelved. here's what's next on my furiously wretched docket:

issue #8 / MAD -- deadline may 31 1999

looking for a variety of materials expressing unique, wondrous and startling explorations of ANGER. everyone gets ornery: what's so singular about your fury? why do your howls rise above the general groans of the disgruntled masses? share your insights on the misunderstood and maligned and fearsome subject of ANGER with the imps. i am particularly interested in hearing about the intersections of anger and gender, as well as children's rage.

NOTE: submissions which demonstrate misogynist, homophobic, racist or otherwise tedious and pitiable expressions of ignorance will be promptly incinerated with a 59¢ bic lighter and the ashes mailed back to you postage due. capiche?

do include a cover letter with your submission. it doesn't have to be long: just introduce yourself. tell me how you found out about the imps and why you chose to send your careful creations to the inkwell. if you desire, share a few of your most memorable publishing experiences with me--but you needn't feel that you have to "prove" yourself with a lengthy list of publication creds. i like fresh, new voices as well as those who've been around. if you wish, share some highlights of your writerly journey, but don't feel compelled to send college transcripts or a photocopy of your ph.d. the imps and i have frolicked in ivory towers and rolled in gutters: we like honest rogues as well as scholars. the imps don't card at the door: we just like to see a smile when we wave you in. toss me some small lively bone to gnaw on while i read your submission.

i refuse to put something as arbitrary as line or page limits on submissions, however, i do have an easier time placing shorter poems and stories rather than lengthy ones. buy that sample copy and you'll get a feel for the average "length" of accepted pieces.

previously published work and simultaneous submissions are acceptable. but do indicate which have been published and where.

submit between 1-8 poems at a time. much more than that and i start to feel slightly dirty and used--*snif*--old aunt calamity becomes just another bawd pinching poems through the narrow hole of the publication needle. i love to read poems and essays and stories. i read carefully; i will give you my full attention. but i can fairly and honestly concentrate on one poet's work for just so long. i can read ream after ream of john keats, william blake and bucky sinister. alas, other mortals are limited to 8 poems at a sitting.

please put only one poem per page, unless they are extremely brief. if a poem is longer than one page, please mark its continuation on the following sheet (i.e., ode to the inkwell, cont. p.2). don't forget to indicate whether the poem "breaks" or seamlessly continues on the next page.

don't forget to include your name and address on each page! sometimes poems become separated from their accompanying cover letter. no need to include your telephone number or fax (i despise using them!) but an e-mail address, if you have one, is handy.

single-space your poems unless double-spacing or other formatting is an essential part of the poem's construction.

make sure your submission is legible! don't forget to proofread. this is one of the few instances in life when neatness really does count. take pride in your craft! make sure your poems have washed behind the ears before you send them to old aunt calamity.

for the imps reply, include an SASE (self-addressed, stamped envelope) with sufficient postage! nothing makes this editrix more ornery than the prospect of insufficient postage. when in doubt, paper clip an extra stamp or two to the SASE. if i don't use it, i'll send it back to you. indicate if you would like your submission returned, or if a simple answer from the inkwell is all that is desired.

all rights concerning your work remain with you: we in the inkwell are grateful for the loan of your work and return it to your safekeeping after publication. your pay is the satisfaction of a job well done and two complimentary copies of imps in the inkwell. we entreat you to keep one for your own pleasure and plant the other like an infectious spore.

send all correspondence to hell in a handbasket: iMPS iN THe iNKWeLL, hellespont publications, attn: calamity jewelz, P.O. Box 6724, Minneapolis MN 55406. e-mail: jewel@gleeful.com web: http://www.gleeful.com/hellespont

whether you decide to submit or not, thank you for your interest! best wishes to you, from imps in the inkwell and calamity jewelz.

jewel@gleeful.com
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hellespont publications