that's right: we pulled a sliver from a lion's paw, snipped a curl from a dead artist's brow, pulled a tuft of fur from a barbed-wire fence. we tucked the bits into a velvet bag and mixed them traveling dust and old corn husks. when our mojo was ready we mumbled prayers and curses and shook the lot over issue number six. after our work was complete, we uncorked a rare vintage of tears and sliced some paper-thin wedges of sighs. it was an exquisite feast of melancholia. we hope our efforts will gleam like the patina of the candle flame reflected in your bloodshot eyes. if you wish to turn the dark purple pages of the PAiN issue, you will find: tattooed tears; 63 Mississippis; stories of saints, rare and refined; a rain thought; how the devil created god; a sharp knife; blood on the tracks; and skin and bones and a grimm rose.

is the olive leering at you from yr chilled hi-ball of tonic & ink? take a sip, i dare you, and tongue that lewd pimento-puckered eyeball. come, give us a kiss, eh? slip a two-dollar bill under yr cocktail napkin and see the ViCE issue stumble yr direction. now, before you start throwing yer money at me, stuffing it in my pockets to cop a cheap feel & all that, let me tell you what lies beyond the plush, velvety curtain that is imps in the inkwell number five. within its dark recesses you can read about: jesus' amazing party tricks, gaping fishmouth spies in the house of love, a siren-sounding, hot-to-trot devil-girl pin-up, what lucky and gonzo have to say, and vice tips from coco marvel! linger over lurid confessions, voluptuous rants, sybaritic poetry, licentious artwork and more of the fiendishly good comic adventure, GOD GOES THROUGH HELL. AND... while supplies last... get a free bonus comic! night of vice by dan frye and calamity jewelz will be sent out at no extra charge with your order!

wot evil lurks in the heart of the iNKWeLL? the iMPS crawled under beds, through gutters, behind bordellos curtains and beyond to find a fresh crop of MoNSTERS for your dismay and delight. in these blistered and warty pages you may find: wot's skulking & salivating in calamity jewelz's basement! the horror of christie's e-z bake oven! lascivious aliens who want to milk your reproductive organs! how to make a MoNSTER cookie! wot's on the spice wrack! the truth about the sandman and his whore, sleep! wot happens when dracula meets the mummy and much more!

i know it's too brite--just feeeeeeeel yer way... within its fleshy orange pages you may secretly marvel over: annie with the bleeding eyes! the truth about oozing women! a man in love with a pancreas! reflections on voluntary baldness! a girl who's too big for her britches! comix, commentary, body language, and--a nudie picture of MiZ iMP (issue #3's sexy centerfold) HUBBA HUBBA!

lawd have mercy! BiTCHES were such a cause celebre that issue #2 was a huge 80 pages jam-packed with cool stuff like: fat girls dancing, a witch, a bitch dicktionary, a scolding wife, a letter to home, comix, bitchpix and MORE! i can't remember how many times i reprinted this BiTCHY iMP during its three month run. it sold out three times at the sixth chamber bookstore, but can be yours if you just ask sweetly.

the great grand evil baby that started the whole wicked endeavor off! HELL wuz just eggzackly where the iMPS wanted to begin. find out why calamity jewelz calls her column "Satan Sez" and read about a pickled ear, discover a damn good recipie for deviled eggs, marvel at what's on satan's "do" list, simper at the lightbringer's advice column, "the lord of flies replies" and figger out what elvis is doing in HELL.

subscriptions are available. just send what you think is a fair amount (in currency or trade items) to us in the iNKWeLL and we'll be deeeelighted to put you on our infernal mailing list.

you might also be able to procure the iMPS from these swank stores and distros

Glovebox Distro
P.O. Box 11
San Mateo CA 94401-0011

The Hungry Mind Bookstore
1648 Grand Avenue
Saint Paul MN 55105

Pander Zine Distro
P.O. Box 582142
Minneapolis MN 55458-2142

Pisces Distro
369 South Doheny Drive #106
Beverly Hills CA 90211

Sixth Chamber Used Books
1332 Grand Avenue
Saint Paul MN 55105

Texttrap Distro
980 Oakshade Drive
Gahanna OH 43230

jewel@gleeful.com
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hellespont publications